Big Girls Don't Cry--They Score Read online

  Most days, I would sit in the corner of the classroom with a book lower in level than the ones my classmates used. These times were especially harsh and degrading for me as a young child. I didn’t have confidence, and the isolation from my peers made it worse.

  However, once I joined a soccer team, not only did my confidence boost, but so did my grades. My mother had bought me a Nike rubber bracelet with Confidence engraved on it. That bracelet in some way helped me gain confidence when playing.

  The first team I joined was the Great Falls soccer team. One of my neighbors and best friends named Skylar was also a part of the soccer team. This eased the nervousness I was feeling, because I was at least familiar with one person on my team.

  That rapidly changed once I arrived at the very first practice. I had immediately realized Skylar and I had different colored uniforms. Yes, we were both a part of Great Falls Soccer, although they divided us into separate teams. I was definitely upset, but my sadness quickly turned into happiness once I finally got to play.

  My coach quickly recognized my talents after our first few practice drills. He was surprised by my ability to play better than the others on my team.

  When I had that ball placed in between my two feet, I felt like nothing in the world could stop me. I knew I could take that ball all the way to the other side of the field, passing all the obstacles in my way. I would never be terrified or panicked controlling that soccer ball, even though I knew all eyes were on me. I knew what I could do with that ball. I knew what I was capable of, and did not allow any excuse to prevent me from doing so. I knew I had the ability, skill, and drive to take that ball towards the end of the field and score a goal.

  After the practice was over, we got to decide what we wanted to name our team. I suggested my favorite soccer team as I thought being named after such a great team would give us a great reputation.

  “How about we name our team FC Barcelona?” I proposed. Everyone then turned their heads towards me with a look of confusion on their faces. It made it seem there was a language barrier between us when in reality they didn’t know much about foreign club soccer teams.

  “How about Wildcats?” one girl suggested. “It’s the name of the High School Musical basketball team!” Everyone soon agreed with her because they all were in love with the Disney channel movie, High School Musical; and they especially loved Troy who was one of the main actors in the movie and the star of the Wildcats basketball team.

  I was upset that they didn’t like my idea and I was especially upset because at that time I hated High School Musical.

  … As the season went on, practice after practice, I improved my skills. I could aim better while shooting and passing and I could control the ball better when dribbling. Alongside these improvements, with all the exercise I was doing I was able to do everything with more stamina, speed, and better endurance. This then enhanced my overall performance when I would play games. Our team managed to keep a very good reputation; we had won almost every single game.

  Throughout these games I would be the greatest contributor in helping the team win. My average had become two goals a game, and the encouragement given by the coaches, and not only my parents, but also my teammates’ parents, helped me continue to strive and perform my best.

  During halftime, or when I would be subbed out, parents of the other players would come and offer me sports drinks, energy bars, and sometimes even chocolate to ensure that once I got out onto the field I would be ready to strike again.

  Once I got onto that field I would take the ball, juggling it between my two feet and race down the field past the opposing players. I would use the techniques my dad taught me and things I learned in the practices to help me get to that goal. While I would be preparing to shoot, my dad would remind me to “Look at the goal before you kick!”

  I would take a glimpse of the goal and shoot with all my might. The ball would fly straight into the goal, passing the goalie and finally hitting the back of the net. The crowd would clap and cheer, as I would run down the field with a conspicuous grin on my face. I became notorious for scaring goalkeepers of opposing teams.

  During games, my talents were very recognizable to my coaches, parents, and bystanders. One of those bystanders happened to be a scouting coach for the Great Falls travel team. The travel team was the next level in soccer, and by next season I would be eligible to play and be a part of the Great Falls U9 travel team.

  The coach came to a game where our team scored five goals; I scored four and assisted on one. He was amazed by my ability to play so well at such a young age. After the game was finished, he and my mom came up to me and discussed the possibility of joining the travel team.

  “We would love for you to be a part of the team, Taleen. You seem like a very talented player, and we could use your talents to help make a great team next season,” he said.

  I smiled radiantly and was overwhelmed with excitement. I then nodded my head rapidly in agreement.

  Chapter 4

  Big Girl Steps

  The new soccer season had started, and I took up the offer given to me to be a part of the Great Falls U9 travel team. We were divided into teams A and B, and I was chosen to be a part of team A. We had named our team “Spirit,” after the National Women’s Soccer League club team, Washington Spirit, located in Washington, DC. Being on this team was challenging, as it required more commitment with many more practices. Thankfully, my best friend Skylar was a part of the team, so I was at least familiar with someone. I enjoyed being on this new team, and taking a step forward in soccer.

  Our first practice consisted of several different drills and techniques in order for the newly appointed coaches to see the different skill levels of each player. The coaches quickly realized how much talent I had, and saw my potential. Because of this, I became one of the starting players for every match. In the beginning of the season, I had scored lots of goals, keeping my team in the lead in many games. I had only been able to do so because of the contribution of the great players on my team. I quickly became great friends with all of them, which enhanced our chemistry on the field.

  I remember the feeling I had every time I scored a goal. The rush of thrill and excitement, the smile that would peek through my lips, and the way my teammates would rush down the field to come and hug me; embracing the moment with me. I would hear the bystanders clap and cheer in the background, and from the corner of my eye I would see my own mother fall to her knees from the excitement of it all.

  I enjoyed being loved and appreciated, and I thrived off of that to continue to become better and to motivate myself to push harder in games. However, this all changed when a staph infection grew in my knee from a cut I got from rollerblading on the streets. The infection got so bad to the point where I had to have an operation to clean the infection out.

  The operation was extremely painful and for a nine year old it was difficult to go through. It was not a serious operation; therefore I was not put under anesthesia. Rather, my staph infection was injected with a numbing substance through a sharp needle. This alone was painful, and when the numbing wore off the pain became unbearable. Throughout the operation by mother was holding my hand and offering me candy to chew on to help me stay calm.

  After the operation, I couldn’t play any sports. I didn’t play for two matches with my soccer team nor did I play at any practices. Despite this, I still attended the matches and sat with bystanders; I made a poster that said “Go Spirit!” and held it up throughout the game for them. I supported my team, and loved them very much, and luckily was able to play again after a quick recovery.

  During the season, we had the opportunity as a team to attend a match against Washington DC’s DC United against another club team Columbus Crew, and even play on their turf during halftime against another youth girls’ travel team. It was a great opportunity, one that only comes so often, and we were fortunate enough to be given it.

  On the day of the match, we all carpooled with eac
h other to the stadium, and tailgated once we got there. When we walked into the stadium we were also given the chance to meet the players prior to the game. We shook the hands of the players once they were stepping onto the field and even got to say a few words to them.

  After meeting the players, we went to our seats and enjoyed the game. We were all so excited that we got to meet the players, and were even more excited that we got to play a match in the stadium just for fifteen minutes.

  When it was half time, we stepped onto the field ready for the match. We were content yet terrified, because there were thousands of people watching us. We wanted to play our best so that we would not embarrass ourselves in front of all these people. Once the whistle blew, our nervousness washed away. We had the fierce look in our eyes; ready to fight for that ball to show the world how well we little girls could play. We wanted to break the stereotype for women’s soccer, and show how good, tough, and aggressive we were.

  During the match we fought and played our little hearts out. We had never played that well before, and it was because we were motivated by the stigma given to women’s soccer. There were a couple of times where we were close to scoring a goal but the final whistle caught up to us. We shook the hands with the players from the opposing team, and walked off the field. In the short fifteen minutes we were given, we tried so hard to score a goal, and even though we did not, we still played well. We went back to our seats and continued watching the game, and my mother even bought me a DC United jersey to wear.

  That night had been a night to remember, and had been one of the happiest nights of my life. Being there with my team, meeting the DC United players, playing on their field, and even watching their game was something special. Not every team was given such an opportunity, and it meant everything to those little girls who loved to play soccer. Although DC United lost the game, it did not ruin the fun we had. We grew closer, and our love for soccer became greater, but only time would tell what the future would hold for us.

  Our practices continued, and our team made it far in the league standings. We had made it far enough to play against a U10 team to play in the championship. Yes, they were older than we were, but we had the talent, passion and motivation to become the champions. Every other team in the league had lost against them. No team had scored on them. We were determined to do so and played with our hearts out on our sleeves, in order to score.

  During that game, my teammate passed the ball to me while I was offside, and I shot the ball into the goal. I was thrilled and excited because we were the only team to ever score on them. The referee called it an offside, and I was shattered on the inside. But that made me push harder to get that goal. I kept trying and trying to get a goal, but the defenders were older, bigger, and more skilled than I was. It became increasingly difficult to get the ball on the other half of the field to score. They finally scored, and shortly after, the final whistle blew. We were upset that we didn’t win, but were happy that we were able to score a goal on them even though it was offside.

  It hadn’t mattered that the goal didn’t count; it was a big enough accomplishment that we had scored on them. Even though we came in second, I was still proud of my team. I was happy that we played well and I was happy that we had made it that far. But we still had one final game left–a game against our own team.

  Chapter 5

  Bye Bye Spirit

  It was during one dinner with my family when my father decided to tell us that he and my mother had made the decision to move to Jordan. It was a huge shock to my brothers and me, as we had not expected it at all. We visited Jordan a couple of times before to see family, but we never thought that we would end up living there.

  I grew very upset, because I did not want to move; I did not want to leave my home, family, and friends—my life behind. I did not want to move to a new place to start over when I had it all good here in Virginia.

  Once all my friends found out—my teammates and my friends in school, they grew very sad. My teammates took it harder than my other friends, and became very upset. They had never expected it and they did not want me to leave. We had such a great bond, and we experienced so much together that it made moving much more difficult.

  A few days later the last match of the season was here; Team A—Spirit against Team B—Lightning. We walked onto the freshly manicured fields with our heads up high.

  Being Team A we knew we were the better bunch, but our nervousness eventually unfolded. As the starting players walked onto the field, we glanced at each other with a nervous yet sad look in our eyes. We knew this would be the last game we would play together; not just of the season, but forever.

  As the whistle blew, I could suddenly feel the adrenaline rush pump through my veins. I quickly passed the ball to one of my teammates, as she ran passed me. A couple of passes later, I was running towards the goal, swiftly passing each defender in my path. As soon as I got close enough I took a shot with great force. Moments later, the ball hit the back of the net.

  Excitement and joy came over me, and sooner or later I was hugging all my teammates. It was a proud moment for us, knowing that we scored in under a minute and that we did it together as a team.

  We continued to pass to each other throughout the game, taking chances when we had the opportunity to, and trying our best to keep the game in our control. Several shots were taken; however we finished the game winning 1–0.

  Once we heard the final whistle, I could feel the tears prickle in my eyes. This was the last time; the last game I would be able to play with this team. This was my first official team; we had traveled the state together, went and watched professional games together, spent time together outside of practices, and now it was all over. I would never be able to see these girls again nor would I be able to play with them together as a team. It was something very close and dear to my heart and it was now taken away from me. As we all gathered in our final team huddle, we screamed at the top of our lungs saying, “Go Spirit!” We stayed in that huddle a little longer than we usually do, just to soak up every last bit of our moment together as a team.

  Soon after the game, we had a team swimming pool party. We all swam and played together and ate great food, but towards the end of the party one of the mothers of one of the girls on the team had an announcement to make. We all sat down, wrapped in our towels listening patiently, yet a little anxious at the same time.

  “Girls, what a season it has been. We beat out every single team, except for the U10 team of course. But hey, we were the only team in the league to score a goal against them!” Laura’s mom said in excitement, and it was followed by a long silent pause.

  “To remember this season, each one of you will get a picture of the team standing in the goal of the DC United Stadium. However, one very special person gets a t-shirt with the printed picture on it, and that is Taleen,” she continued. I smiled widely and felt everyone’s eyes on me.

  “Taleen, we will miss you dearly, and in honor of your great performance this season, we had this t-shirt customized just for you. It has the picture we took in one of the goals at the DC United stadium,” she said with a warm and comforting smile on her face. I tried to hold my emotions in as I accepted the t-shirt, but my eyes betrayed me as tears start streaming down my face. Everyone clapped and cheered; their actions filled me with elation.

  I had everyone–every single teammate and all my coaches sign my t-shirt with personalized messages. I carefully held the t-shirt, not wanting to wrinkle or damage it in any way because it was a very sentimental gift. The t-shirt was not only a reminder of my team but it was also a reminder of how far I had come as a player and the forever lasting memories I had created while living in the States.

  I had not only changed as a player but I had also changed as a person. I even grew to love High School Musical.

  I enjoyed the rest of the night swimming, playing and eating good food with the people I deeply loved and enjoyed; cherishing every last moment I had with them.

/>   Chapter 6

  The Start of Something New

  When I was ten, my father’s job took us from Northern Virginia to Amman, Jordan. As soon as I arrived in that new country, I felt like my world had turned upside down, but in reality I was just half way across the world. It was difficult to move away from home, and into a new country with a new culture. I didn’t even know or understand the language, not even a simple hello. At least I had family here to help me with transition.

  Not only was it culturally shocking for me, but I longed for the simple things I couldn’t have anymore. There were no green fields; instead there was sand and dust everywhere. I also missed my favorite American snacks that they didn’t have there, or they were way too expensive for me to buy.

  When I first moved to Jordan I hadn’t known anyone except for my cousins. I spent most of my summer days with them, and playing around with a dirty football outside. If it wasn’t that, it was playing FIFA on an old PS2 that didn’t work very well. There wasn’t much social interaction, because my cousins couldn’t speak English very well. We sat in silence most of the time, making me feel even more isolated.

  I also grew very bored, because it was the same routine most of the days, and there was nothing exciting to do here. There were clubs that had pools, there was one water park, and they had movie theaters but that was it. Even shopping here was no fun, because things that would cost less back home were really expensive here.

  I hated living here, and I blamed my dad for it every day. I didn’t want to live here, and I didn’t want to detach myself from everything I had back home in the suburbs of Northern Virginia. I didn’t like the isolation; I didn’t like the fact that I had no friends to talk to; and I didn’t like the fact that I couldn’t even play soccer anymore with my friends. At least school would start soon, and maybe there I would get to meet some people.